Have you ever looked at your partner and thought, I love them so much, so why donโt they feel it? Youโre doing everything you know to show your love, yet somehow, itโs just not landing. Itโs a frustrating feeling, isnโt it? But hereโs the thingโyour partner probably feels the same way about you.
Letโs talk about this, because itโs one of those things thatโs so common in relationships but rarely discussed.
What We Donโt Say Speaks the Loudest
Hereโs a truth Iโve learned (the hard way, mind you): love isnโt just about what you feel; itโs about what you communicate. And sometimes, the way we communicate doesnโt match what our partner needs.
Think about it: your partner might say everythingโs fine, but their tone or body language might hint otherwise. Maybe theyโve mentioned little things they wish youโd do, but you didnโt realize how important those things were to them.
This isnโt about blameโitโs about awareness. Because most of us arenโt mind readers (if you are, lucky you!). Instead, weโre all just trying to do the best we can with the tools we have.
Listening Without Words
You donโt need a long, deep conversation to start understanding your partner better. Sometimes, the clues are in the things they donโt say.
- Complaints can be insights. For example, โYouโre always on your phoneโ might really mean, โI miss connecting with you.โ
- Actions speak volumes. Does your partner love to leave little notes for you or plan special dinners? Maybe theyโre showing you how theyโd like to be loved in return.
- Reactions tell a story. Notice when they light up. Was it when you complimented them? When you offered to help with a task? Those moments matter.
And hereโs a secret: just by being curious and paying attention, youโre already halfway there.
Assumptions Are Tricky Things
I canโt tell you how many times Iโve thought I was hitting the mark with someone I cared aboutโonly to find out I wasnโt even close. You ever been there?
Itโs easy to assume our partner needs the same things we do. If you love gifts, you might assume theyโll feel the same way when you surprise them with something. But what if they value quality time more? What if theyโd trade every gift for one evening of undivided attention?
The truth is, we all love differently. And thatโs not a bad thing. It just means we need to slow down and ask:
- โWhat makes you feel really loved?โ
- โWhatโs something Iโve done that made you feel special?โ
- โIs there something you wish I understood about you?โ
These questions arenโt meant to be heavy or intimidating. Theyโre invitations to connect.
Have You Heard of Love Languages?
If you havenโt, let me introduce you. Theyโre kind of a game changer. Love languages are basically the ways we give and receive love, and they fall into five categories:
- Words of Affirmation: Compliments, encouragement, and loving words.
- Acts of Service: Doing thoughtful things like cooking dinner or folding the laundry.
- Receiving Gifts: Itโs not about the costโitโs about the thought behind the gift.
- Quality Time: Spending focused, intentional time together.
- Physical Touch: Hugs, hand-holding, kisses, and cuddles.
Understanding your partnerโs love language can make all the difference. And itโs actually kind of fun to figure it out together.
A Safe Place to Reconnect
Now, letโs get personal for a second. Relationships thrive when both people feel seen and valued, right? But sometimes, life gets in the way. Work, kids, routinesโthey all pull our attention in a million directions.
Thatโs where a Soul Speak Session comes in. These sessions arenโt just about taking photos (though, trust me, the photos will be stunning). Theyโre about creating a moment to pause, to reflect, and to reconnect with the person you love most.
Imagine sitting across from your partner, sharing a quiet moment where the world melts away, and itโs just the two of you. Thatโs the kind of magic we create.
So, What Now?
Letโs keep this simple. Take a moment tonightโmaybe over dinner, maybe while youโre winding downโand ask your partner, โWhatโs something small I can do to make you feel loved this week?โ
Itโs a small question, but it can open the door to so much more. And if youโre ready to take it even further, Iโd love to help you create a moment youโll treasure forever with a Soul Speak Session.
Stay tuned for Part 3, where weโll talk about breaking down the barriers that keep us from expressing love fully. Itโs going to get real, but in the best way.